Guide to Retirement-Part II-Preparedness

You're ready to retire, but you've heard cautionary tales about people who retire and are dead six months later. You're scared. Don't be. The newly retired deceased("NRD") are no longer with us because they failed to prepare for retirement. Did you take the algebra regents without studying? Of course not. You'd now be in your 44th year of high school. The NRD naively thought they could walk into retirement cold. Instead, they were carried out cold.
The overarching principle of retirement is that the same activities you previously performed while working will now be performed in a manner so different as to be unrecognizable. Because of its importance,we'll start with exercise.
You've reached retirement age so your arteries can't be totally occluded. You must have exercised. Maybe(albeit unlikely) you frequented a gym. Made a sprint for the bus here. Looped an endless circle around Ikea there But have you ever performed a marathon? You will now.The only new equipment you will need is a pedometer.
You will leave the bedroom to do something in the kitchen. You will arrive at the kitchen but forget what it was you came into the kitchen for. You will walk back toward the bedroom hoping the setting will jog your memory. It won't. But you will recall that you left the paper with the movie listings in the living room and you will go to retrieve it. You can't read the listings because your reading glasses are either in the bathroom, bedroom, kitchen or your pocketbook. You'll rifle through every room and purse to no avail. Terrific! Look at the pedometer. You've logged 2.3 miles and, almost as good, you found an unexpired 20% off coupon for Filene's basement. To keep fit, you'll perform many repetitions daily. For the metrocard. The cell phone.The Nook. At the end of the day, raise your hands in victory, throw a thermal blanket over your shoulder and meet a friend for a beer. You've completed a marathon. Oh, you can't find your keys? One and 1/2 marathons.
Stay tuned for future columns: "You're Drinking Your Coffee Too Fast," "Appointments Before Noon. NOT" and "Your Cat Is Right; When in Doubt, Nap."