Inquiring minds want to know

Having relegated me to treadmill hell, Sears, after receiving my small claims complaint for breach of warranty, transported me to heaven by settling with me. I know you're dying to know what they gave me, and I would love to tell you, but I can't. Sears, apparently believing the settlement with me might depress their stock price, required me to sign a confidentiality agreement. I cannot disclose whether they gave me money. I can divulge that subsequent to the settlement, I bought a new treadmill from Sports Authority. It has no visible damage, moves at the speed I select and I can hear Ann Curry over its motor. I hope never to write a blog about treadmills again. And yes, I kept the box.